Embrace the Era You are In
Step 3 in Finding Your Way Out.
LIFE LESSON BONUS
“When you’re in the throws of it, you’re fragile.”
I know, I know.. that sounds weak.
It also sounds a little bit… small.
I don’t like it either, trust me.
I don’t like writing it, I don’t like admitting it, I certainly don’t like saying it here to so many people (especially because I’m feeling it as well).
But it’s truth, and there’s no getting around it. So let’s all just shake our heads, roll our eyes, and accept it together 🙄.
When you’re “going through it”, “ in the middle of it”, down or out, in the swirl, or just plain stressed or sad….
You’re fragile.
And when you’re fragile everything gets distorted, little things feel like big things.
It doesn’t take much for the cracks to begin to show.
It doesn’t take much to break.
It’s better to admit it and embrace it than pretend.
You don’t need to manly-man this or try to tough-it out.
The ups and downs of playing Humpty Dumpty is exhausting enough. Better to simply embrace the fragility and adjust expectations for a time.
It’s okay to do that, and is so much more healthy.
More healthy for you.. and for the people around you too.
Don’t forget that last part.
THE NEXT STEP
So I’m heading into part two of vulnerability land today as I journal my way through some swirl, sadness, and stuckness in my own life. And that little tidbit above about fragility and “little things being big things”? I just lived a day of it recently, so thank you for playing along at home 😬🙄🤷♂️.
Once again, this is real time living and learning together. 💪✍️
Which brings us to today’s focus.
We’re exploring the Six Steps to Find Your Way Out. And frankly these steps can help you avoid swirl, sadness, and stuckness as well.
A quick recap on the first two steps:
1. Everybody Needs Somebody:
- Let them in, Listen, Be Open to consider what they have to say.
- Who is your someone? Who are you someone to? Are you engaging?
2. Know your Anchors and Use Them.
- Anchors are those things that center you, fuel you, ground you, or give you lift.
- Keep two or three anchors active in your life always (know them, activate them, practice them).
That brings us to step 3.
Today we’re covering a big one — one that I know well and typically have been very good at practicing.
But for one reason or another I haven’t been nearly as purposeful with it recently. So today, I’m going to change that and I’m sharing it with you now.
EMBRACE THE ERA YOU ARE IN
I don’t know how many times I’ve coached people to this gem of a #LifeLesson but I do know that it’s game changing.
When you truly become aware of and Embrace the Era you are in, your entire world has the ability to shift. The lens you see through changes. The feelings you experience through changes.
And when that happens, events, circumstances, and people that once tanked you… don’t. Goodness and joy that once escaped you, doesn’t.
What once was gray and drab, broadcasting only in black and white, is now alive and well and exploding in living color!
But first you have to do the work. You have to:
1. Know it.
2. Recognize it.
3. Name it.
4. And Adjust.
ERA’S OF LIFE
Our life is woven together in chapters.
If you think backwards from right now, you could tell your whole life story in chapter names. These were eras. In retrospect you name these chapters based on outcomes — what you did, what happened, major activity. And you tend to view them in simple big chunks based on some end moments.
There is so much missed in retrospect.
But what if I told you, you could know it while you were in it?
Once you are able to begin recognizing the Era while you are in it, you can take control of the pen and write each line with purpose and intention. You can create the experiences you want to have.
When you Embrace the Era you are In.. you can enjoy each word as it comes and quit resisting and living out of sync as if your reality was someone else’s.
What is an Era?
An Era is a specific period of time that is usually defined by a set of dominant circumstances that influence nearly every other part of your life.
These defining characteristics (regardless of how overt or visible they may be) tend to create an undercurrent of influence that impacts nearly everything to some degree. Sometimes they are easy to see, other times they are much more subtle and under the surface.
Era’s are sometime quick and may begin and end in a matter of weeks. Most often an era lasts for months or years.
In all cases, how you live and what you should expect from yourself and others in one era is not usually the same in another.
Easy examples include an era of new employment or unemployment, caring for an aging parent or loved one, moving in somewhere or moving out of anywhere, being pregnant or having a newborn (two very related but very different eras).
You get the point. We live in chapters. We live in Era’s. And we need to change our behaviors, routines, and expectations of ourselves as each era changes as well.
Yet we tend to do exactly the opposite.
We tend to just keep on trying to do the same things, and often we even measure ourselves against a rising bar.
Mostly I think we just don’t recognize an era has changed until its much too late. However, I also often think we are simply so headstrong and high achieving people that we insist on never changing the expectations we have of ourselves or other people — even though the dominant circumstances of our lives have changed around us!
Kind of insane when you think about it that way isn’t it?
I mean you are not going to drive the same way in a little neighborhood full of stop signs and children as you would on the open freeway with no traffic. Why? Because the dominant circumstances and surroundings have changed, so you adjust as well. It’s the same you, but you’re going to drive differently.
We need to live this way as well.
When the dominant characteristics of your life era changes, you need to recognize it and adjust how you live. You need to drive differently.
Because when you don’t… people get hurt.
Starting with yourself and then the people closest to you.
You also miss out on all the uniqueness and new things that you could be experiencing and taking advantage of because you’re so focused on fighting forward and resting change.
Your Best Life
The point is, your best life is a life that embraces the era you are in.
Your best life is one that is awake and alive. One that can name the defining characteristics of the period you are in while embracing them, without judging them, and aligning your life with them.
These dominant forces present new opportunity for new life, new growth, and new ways of experiencing life.
- Name them,
- Understand them, and then
- Seek to adjust accordingly.
Seize the day and Carpe Diem the crap out of all the goodness you can find given where you are. Let Go of the old. Receive the new.
Take it from a guy who has lived it both ways….
Resistance is futile.
Fighting it or just trying to “push through” in any era of life only causes suffering and swirl.
You must understand that swimming against the current ALWAYS takes more energy and creates more sputtering and splashing and potential drownings than simply embracing the tides of time and flowing.
Do not rage against the river or attempt to hang onto all the rocks.
Life just happened. Embrace it. Let Go and Flow.
So let’s do this together.
Find a few moments of time and let’s do this exercise together.
You can do it all at once or in short bursts throughout the day. But let’s go ahead and wake up to where we are and get our best life moving again.
I know I’m in a unique era of life at the moment and everything in me wants to resist and just push through. But there is a better way. And I don’t want to miss this opportunity.
I don’t know exactly where you are right now, but I know you haven’t always been there and I also know it will change at some point too. So perhaps you could use some interesting waking up too…
So let’s commit to doing this now and then doing it again anytime we begin to realize an era has started to shift.
STEP ONE: The Defining Attributes:
What are the dominant circumstances in your life right now? The ones that tend to influence nearly all others.
- There may be several and they may be related to each other or not. They may circumstances of chance or things you’re trying to achieve. They could be issues that need solving, unexpected guests, or even gifts. They may feel positive, or they may feel challenging.
- Hint: They are probably things that either frustrate you the most, consume the most time, require the most energy, or things you are the most excited about (era defining attributes nearly always trigger the most extreme responses from us).
- Read the question again and write these things down.
STEP TWO: This Era’s needs, changes, expectations
Now consider each attribute from above separately. Reflect and dig deep on this next question:
In light of this specific circumstance or attribute:
- What new or different behaviors, expectations or actions may be needed from you?
- What should you consider doing more of? less of?
- Given these things, what new or different opportunities exist for you or others that can be leveraged that normally would not?
STEP THREE: Embracing the Era — Your Response
Given your answers above…
- What will you change in order to really lean into and live well in this specific era of your life?
- Help: Think about this in terms of behavior, routines, and expectations. Where your time, emotions, energy and attention goes.
Let’s GO
Do the work and make the adjustments. You won’t just save yourself the suffering, but you will give yourself a gift that far too many people miss — peace, joy and good groove energy in every era of life.
Don’t resist. Embrace. Adjust.
I know I’ve got some work to do right now.
Let Go and Let’s Go!
Jeff
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